Pay attention to what you negatively judge

We often criticise others for what we reject about ourselves.

Want a helpful mirror? Pay attention to what you negatively judge. 😉

Judgement and criticism is often a way of externalising and trying to protect our own insecurities.

Looking outward with judgement and criticism of others can seem a part of human nature for many. We can all do it. I am yet to meet anyone who doesn’t, even if occasionally.

Except for maybe those evolved beings such as buddhist monks.

It is especially prevalent amongst those high achieving, competitive, driven, ambitious or perfectionists amongst us. Those of us that set and push toward high expectations of self and others.

We are not perfect…EVER!

We are wonderfully imperfect human beings. We are continually learning and streamlining how we show up in accordance with our own values and purpose.

Our life is one continual journey of lessons and they show up everywhere, not just in a classroom or with your coach!

So why does it happen?

We push down or don’t acknowledge the parts of ourselves we see as unacceptable. This can create shame, and they can become blind spots to us. This is why we have little problem pointing out flaws in others.

But they don’t just ‘go away’. They need an outlet.

Because we don’t like that shadow part of ourselves we project it out. You may have heard of this through Carl Jung’s work on the shadow.

We ‘project’ what we ‘reject.’

If you stand in quiet and private judgement of yourself, it will make it’s way outwards. Either you’ll externalise it by noticing it in others and judging it, or sometimes you’ll comment on it.

This is often fuelled by what it is we personally feel in short supply of: Love, happiness, joy, space, freedom, lightness, peace, quiet, recognition, being heard etc.

It is easy to negatively react to judgement toward us and yet we can be guilty of pushing it outward - doing the same.

It is much easier to see the shortfalls of others versus dealing with our own with compassion and empathy.

Insecurities - those old chestnuts! They can prevent us standing in the light and just being and radiating out who we are with all our little imperfections alongside our beauty.

When we let them go, and learn to accept those parts of ourselves, the judgement becomes less.

We see other humans with frailties and imperfections like us.

We embrace, live and lead with more courage and compassion.

Do you agree?

Is this something you’ve experienced?